Variety is the spice of life

First, let’s look at the positive. Online dating gives you access to woman and men you may not otherwise ever run into in the traditional organic way. You literally have the world at your fingertips.

Maybe you’re a man who wants a woman with culture? One with higher education? One who doesn’t have any children? Just check off a few boxes and a computerized algorithm sends you matches that fit your desire. Don’t like the physical attributes? Keep swiping until you get to the one that catches your eye. It seems like heaven, doesn’t it? Keep reading….

Never Too Much – R.I.P. Luther

Another positive is the sheer volume of options, not just the type of people, the amount of people. According to the Pew Research Center, the share of 18 to 24-year-olds have tripled since 2013 to almost 30% and doubled for ages 55-64. That’s right, granny and paw paw are online matching too.

According to visual economics, Match.com has almost 30 million members, EHarmony, 20 million.

For men, online dating is utopia. It’s like walking into the Garden of Eden full of naked women and BBQ hanging from every tree limb. Black, blue, white, yellow, and green, they are all there. You say you like a buxom woman? She’s there. Perhaps you like the rail thin model type; she’s there too. And for the starving artist? The woman who has made her lot in life and just wants a man to come home to, regardless of his three child support payments and status as an unemployed actor. Yep, she’s there too.

What they don’t know won’t hurt them

Another benefit of online dating is the lack of rejection. Sure, you may choose someone who doesn’t choose you, but that pales in comparison to walking up to a woman with a smile and she looks at you like you’re dragging half a roll of toilet paper out of the back of your pants. The same applies to women. Online dating has empowered women to make their own choices when it comes to men. They log on and reach out just as much as men do.

Vogue

The stigma of online dating was deep and wretched only a few years ago. You mostly found men online looking for sex or women looking for money. I’d venture to say now, most of the people online are progressive, forward thinking and have something to offer. The online dating industry now makes over 1.8 billion dollars annually. That’s a lot of love to share.

PEOPLE LIE, EVEN TO THEMSELVES

It is my opinion that Internet dating fails mostly, for this reason. Let’s exclude the scum of the earth, pedophiles, adulterers, and the likes. A large percentage of people left, simply don’t know enough about themselves to honestly and accurately fill out a personality profile. They write what they think they are, not what they are.

These sites match profiles not on an intense person-to-person interview, but on the failed system of self-evaluation. If you think you’re great, that’s what you’re going to write!

Say you’re looking for a great communicator, someone who is honest and hardworking. Now think for a moment. Don’t you know people who probably believe that they fall into that category, but you know undoubtedly they don’t? It’s dangerously subjective.

Most people in the world would not categorize themselves as bad people, but you and I know the truth. Consider how divisive the 2016 electoral race was. Both sides felt like the other side was the worst. Like Michael said, “you have to start with the man in the mirror,” but how many of us do?

In my personal online dating experiences, most of the people I met were a 90+ percent match by whatever site I was using at the time. But after meeting in person, I could tell very early on; they were not the person they described and certainly were not my perfect match.

I wanted deep and meaningful connections, but most seemed to simply be shopping.

Too much is always too much

Online dating is a buffet. Simple and plain. Perhaps that’s what you like, what your tether is. Nibble, dump nibble, pause, and repeat. Too much is simply too much. An average woman online may be getting more than 10 inquiries per day! Sometimes causing her ego to over inflate and miss the serenade of her prince charming.

The thrill is long gone. We’ve reduced each other to commodities. Sure there is still that moment when you are wondering if the person with the perfect heart will respond, but it’s just not like it used to be. A man walking up to a woman full of confidence and chivalry had a dignity about it.

That’s been replaced with a passing “hi” as someone scrolls millions of other profiles. The savoring of the moments of conversations is replaced with a 5-minute interview, a small piece of parsley on a very large plate.

A romantic evening with every detailed planned out to perfection is replaced with a $5 coffee at Starbucks, sometimes back to back in 30-minute interview increments.

The gleaming seconds waiting for the new prospect to call are whittled to almost nothing because we’re too busy looking at other profiles or wading through other prospects.

Over 53% of singles say they date people simultaneously when dating online. How can you possibly give the right person, the focus needed, if you’re dating three other people at the same time? I realize that you may eventually choose one, but who’s to say it’s the right one? Perhaps they were just the last man or woman standing.

And it’s expensive. Those dinners and $5 coffees start to add up!

Chemistry is never paper-thin

No matter how much you match up on paper, physical chemistry is something completely different. Now rather you need physical chemistry to have a successful relationship is a topic for another conversion.

It is undeniable, however, when you meet a person in an organic and natural way you know almost instantly if you have chemistry. Strong chemistry covers a multitude of faults. Is that a good thing? Let’ discuss on the podcast! (TheLoveScript)

Psychology Today says that online conversation can lull you into a false chemistry and like of someone because we automatically disclose and receive so much information. It could be years before you realize you’re dating a fool. SCARY.

The success rate is lower than you would think

About 17% of all marriages last year came from online relationships. So if most people aren’t getting married based on an online encounter, then why do it? To date of course! We have become a society of serial daters. And let’s not neglect to factor in the sex element.

According to statisticbrain.com, a whopping 1/3 of all women polled who dated online had sex their first encounter with a new prospect. The buffet analogy just made me a little sick after that thought.

There goes that masked man

People lie, creep and much worse under the cover of an online profile. Almost 20% of men online misrepresent their physical appearance, social-economic status, and interest.

My Lying Eyes

We are incredibly physically driven when making our decisions. Our lust, greed, and honest desire play enormous roles in what and who we choose. So no matter what your filtered list generates, it’s those pearly whites and other things drawing your eyes in and causing you to choose yes! This would certainly work the same way in person, but at least in person, you’re not fooling yourself that it’s their charity work or socialism degree that’s drawing you in.