A checklist of what you want in a man
I have been working most of my life. I started out teaching all over the country at 10 years old. Yep, 10! I was in numerous national newspapers and would travel from church to church. I didn’t do it for the money but I was always paid some sort of honorarium.
Since then, I helped run a $600M publishing firm, started my own enormously successful film production company and most recently, a publishing house to distribute my own books.
So I never understood people who couldn’t get things done. When I was younger, it felt like I had a photographic memory. I almost never needed to write anything down. However, as I got older I couldn’t remember what I was thinking in the bathroom by the time I made it down the hall to my office to write it down.
So I leaned on an age-old solution…I write everything down. I use a program called Evernote (no, they aren’t a sponsor) to log ideas, thoughts, to-do list and the like into my phone, which then syncs to my computer and other devices.
Lists not only help you remember things, they help you focus on a goal. Choosing a mate is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make in life, so it stands to reason that this list, is one of the most important list you will ever make. Truth is, it’s the most responsible thing to do for both parties involved. Don’t ever let yourself be reckless with someone’s heart and never ever let anyone be reckless with yours.
Choosing a mate is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make in life, so it stands to reason that this list, is one of the most important list you will ever make.
The Most Important List You’ll Ever Write
My Top 6 For Women
Honesty
If he doesn’t have the strength to tell you the truth, he’s not worth your time. Enough said.
Hardworking
The bible says, if a man doesn’t work, he shouldn’t eat. Dig it? I know some woman love to reach down and try to pull up a man and help him and there’s nothing wrong with that. Here’s the problem, you can’t make a man want to work no matter how hard you try. Helping someone who is already working is much different. The less a man has, the harder he should be working and most men that make it, work even harder to keep it. So stop making excuses for lazy, slothful bums who don’t deserve your time. You’ll only do them a disservice by not allowing them to pull themselves up and learn the discipline and reward of hard work.
Maturity
This is not an age issue, this is a brain issue. How a man thinks is what he shall be. Choosing a man with a mature mind will benefit you in more ways than you can imagine. Review every trait on this list. The one thing they all have in common is that they all come from having a mature mind. How he deals with conflict will be based on how mature he is. How he deals with failure, disappointment and anger all result from the level of his thinking, which in turn influences his discipline and self-control.
A Seeker of Wisdom
A man who seeks wisdom shall find it. Do not forsake wisdom and she will protect you (Proverbs 4:6). The more wisdom a man seeks, the more he will acquire. Knowledge without wisdom is words without application or context.
A Leader
This is a big one for me and is the most complicated. Not everyone is meant to be a leader and not everyone has leadership qualities. But a man that desires to be a husband or father MUST acquire leadership skills. How can a man be a father and lead his children, or be a husband and lead his home without them? Even more importantly, a man needs to lead by example. Telling someone to do something will never be as powerful as showing them by example.
Integrity
A man that has a moral compass is important. It will contour the way that he sees the world and his actions. The last thing you want is a man who is sneaking money out of your purse when you’re not looking.
How does this apply? If you don’t know what you want, you’re not ready to choose. You’ll end up messing over people that may have the best intentions for you. Your list is YOUR list, so you have to know what’s important to you and be able to prioritize. So since I am not a woman and my own personal list applies to getting one, I wrote this list with the mindset of what I would want on my daughter’s list when it comes to choosing a man. My only preference would be that he is Christian, here’s the rest.
My Advice?
I once counseled a young lady who was dealing with the loss of her father. He was killed by a random act of violence, in the wrong store at the wrong time, when someone decided to rob it. That would have been awful on its own, but at the funeral she discovered her father had another family across town, complete with a picket fence and minivan. Sometimes even having a list is not enough; some people will fool you.
However, the only way to give yourself a fighting chance for real happiness is your list and prayer. So make a list, check it a million times and pray always.
Share your top 6 below. I can’t wait to see what’s on it.
PDH - Paul D. Hannah
Author
Paul D. Hannah is an award-winning writer, producer, director and author. He has counseled and help hundreds of couples and spoken nationally to thousands about the power of love and relationships. He has a passion for marriages and helping people achieve their love goals.
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